I have this whole conspiracy theory thing going on with car stickers. Call me crazy, but I’m a great believer that car stickers are the root cause of traffic jams. Because you can’t read all the indispensable words of wisdom printed on those car stickers if there are no traffic jams, right? So, what I think is that the manufacturers of these car stickers devise clever ways to create horrible traffic jams so that we could see the car stickers they make plastered on other vehicles. Now there’s something to think about.
Seriously though, car stickers are a form of identification. An odd little thing on your bumper that broadcasts to the world who you are with a few witty words, a logo or a very badly drawn cartoon. And for free spirits that roam the beaches of the world, here are some car stickers you may want to slap on your vehicle.
Surfing Impaired. Too old. Too fat. Don’t care.
Ah, the proud sand potato. Who would just bake (every pun intended) in the sun all day rather than, well, move.
Dog Beach. Ocean Beach, California… Because they can!
And quite frankly they should. But the reality of the situation is that most beaches in the United States are closing themselves up to our canine buddies. Not because they hate dogs or anything like that, but because there are a lot of irresponsible owners. So if you want an all-access beach, pick up after your pet. Keeping beaches poop-free, will keep it from being pet-free.
This rather provocatively suggestive message is tempered by the crappy cartoon it was paired with. Perfection.
All those in favor raise your surfboard.
Ladies, I know we’d all like to lay claim to this title. But the competition for this coveted beach bum title is fierce. So what do you do? Wear the skimpiest of bikinis, have your hair in a corn row like Bo Derek (if you’re not blonde, consider being one), get the most unique beach bags you could find, save the whales, pick up plastic bottles and plastic bags, surf, swim, pig out on beach grub, all while getting an even tan. Easy right?
Happiness is… a day at the beach!
Need I say anything more?
And shouldn’t we all? Which is why we should always be conscious of how we dispose of things we bring into the beach such as plastic. Plastic is one of the top beach pollutants these days together with cigarette butts. And these could harm the animals who mistake it as food. Some of them can choke in plastic caps, or get tangled on floating plastic bags.
I am the Walrus!… and who are you?
Aside from being a very trippy The Beatles song, this is actually a very philosophically inclined car sticker. So the next time you go to the beach, try a few moments of introspection. After all the Walrus knows who he is, and so should you.
YES this journey is absolutely necessary.
You can take two routes with this car sticker message. One is the deep and profound route, in which you can say that this about self-discovery, about stepping out of your comfort zone, of challenging yourself. Second is the not so deep and profound route, in which it only means that you’ve grown so pale even Casper was scared of you and you need to go to the beach to get a tan.
Enough said.